November 10, 2012

Cha-cha-changes: On election results, identity, and bad ass plans

Oh hey gender blenders,

Election night I was so excited about the results that I slid down half a flight of stairs like I was tobogganing--minus one toboggan. Cute, right? Equality has taken a huge step forward with the re-election of President Obama, two states legalizing same-sex marriage by popular vote for the first time in history, and the election of the first openly lesbian senator. My state even had ways of shutting that whole Todd Akin thing down. With the country moving forward, I feel more secure with my own acceleration.

Lately my gender/s and I have been having some discussions. We've been feeling funny about our propensities for femme-y presentation. We have the significant laydee curves, and it is oh so much simpler just to femme it. But it feels a little like we're putting on gaudy costume jewelry--cheapening our gendered reality. Lace suddenly seems ridiculous on anything but skivvies.

I've realized that the femme part of genderqueer femme has been a transitional identity for me--my history of femme presentation made it hard for me to feel confident enough to let it go even though it no longer felt a part of me. Lately it has been delightfully freeing to wear button downs, sweater vests, and ties. Obviously, gender identity comes down to a lot more than clothes, but feeling comfortable in my skin is greatly affected by what I put on; and what I put on, in turn, affects how I am read. "Put on" is playful here, as gender itself is in many ways "put on" both consciously and unconsciously.

My attraction to queer femmes also had me fumbling to preserve some femme-ness in my own presentation because I admire their gender(s) even if it isn't mine. This effort seemed a requirement of my curvaceousness as well--I thought I was too curvy to pull off anything androgynous. Oh, but I was wrong--I am dapper.

Accordingly, The Androgynous Femme blog is going to go through some changes. I am going to play with both parts of the name and focus on androgynous/gender bending grrrls and an appreciation for queer femmes and visibility.

In other news--I am applying to a gender studies PhD program! I took the GRE last week and am waiting on my official scores that should come next week.

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